Short Shots: Week 14


I must first fall on the sword and apologize for a one week hiatus in which there were submissions but nothing published. I just didn’t do it.

We all have bad weeks, and this week belonged to the Cowboys offense. The D was great for both Texas teams and they are both still leading their divisions. This is a week to week league with highs and lows. ‘People’ are murmuring for Tones Romes, and it doesn’t help that Owner/GM/All around Ass Hat Jerry Jones is fueling the flames with idiotic statements championing the thought of Romo coming back and helping the team win a Superbowl.

How about winning an effing playoff game, or maybe even two in the same season? Stop talking about Super Bowls and go back to IKEA to see if you can find blinds for the windows at your stadium.

The takes were solid and measured this week, so I decided to pop off at the end, enjoy:


By Alan:


You can’t make 5 trips into the red zone, come out with only 3 points each time, and win.

Your QB can’t have a 64.4 QB rating and win.

You can’t throw interceptions on 3rd down and inches, and win.


You can dominate the running game and win.

You can win the turnover battle and win.

Texans defense was STOUT, and made Andrew Luck look like Brock Osweiler. JD Clowney had a monster performance, and made a game saving, and possibly season saving, strip sack late in the 3rd Quarter. It has been fun watching him become “the man” in JJ Watt’s absence. Clowney’s career trajectory has been strikingly similar to Mario Williams – 1st overall pick and maybe not 1st overall pick worthy, but in hindsight, it’s tough to say the pick was not wisely spent.

Somewhere In Between:

By Beth:

I don’t do short shorts, I’m not that kind of mom, but here are some quick takes I have about football.

Texans vs Colts
Overheard at our house “The Texans are trying to Texan themselves out of a win.” I was both relieved it didn’t happen (for Alan’s sake) and sad that there wasn’t a “bad Luck for the Colts” reference within my hearing.

Cowboys vs Giants
I fell asleep on the couch. I saw a ‘boys interception that seemed hopeful. And then nothing. I woke up to Barry watching the DVRed SNL and was told they lost.

So Eli is still Cowboy kryptonite.

This is what you get when you ask a baseball fan for full participation. I’ll see you guys April 3rd.


By David:

Ugh.  It turns out that it’s a lot more fun to write these #ShortShots when the Boys win.  Eli tried his absolute hardest to hand the Cowboys the W, and, in the spirit of the Christmas season, they decided to re-gift it right back to him.

Naughty List: Dez Bryant. Where the hell was that guy on Sunday night?  Oh yeah, falling down on a route, resulting in a pick; fumbling the ball on what could’ve been a game winning drive; half-assing routes all over the field.

Naughty List: Dak Prescott.  His famed pocket presence disappeared on Sunday as he seemed to rush when unnecessary and then take his time when he should have rushed.  And taking a 10 yard loss on a 3rd down to knock the team out of Dan Bailey’s range cost the game.

Nice List: Sean Lee. I honestly felt bad for the NY running backs at times.  Lee seemed to hit every single hole before the runner even realized there was a hole.  On top of that, a fumble recovery!

Nice List: Barry Church.  If it wasn’t for the cast on his broken arm he would’ve had 2 picks.  He made the right play, just couldn’t hold on.


By Randy:

So, that sucked.  I miss when games were boring by the second quarter.  I really hope nobody else is on the Romo back as a starter bandwagon…Dak is still the starter, there’s no reason that losing 2 of his first 13 games is reason to lose his starting role.  Sure he looked a little out of sorts last night, but this is still his team.

Hey, we’re still in the playoffs and still leading the NFC, I think I will delay the panicking for a little longer…(also I assume whoever is before or after me made all the opposite points)

By Viet:

Giants plucky, Cowboys sucky, and DNP for a guy named Lucky.

As I suspected all along, it is not Dak and Zeke that have been the key to the Cowboy’s success. It was the rookie sensation Lucky Whitehead. Dwayne Harris made a few big plays on special teams Sunday night, and the Cowboys could not respond with Dwayne Harris 2.0.

Okay, so the narrative will be that the Giants are the Cowboys’ kryptonite. That’s fine, deserved even considering they are the only team to have even beaten us this year. I heard Cris Collinsworth say that Dallas fans are having nightmares of facing the Giants in the playoffs and witnessing a repeat of 2007. Count me in as at least one fan that wouldn’t mind the chance at redemption. Bring em’ on… I’m feeling lucky.

By Mick:

I’m sure most people are copying and pasting the same thing, “Dak finally played like a rookie.” It’s true and it’s good that it happened now. It’s much better to get the turd in the punchbowl game out of your system in December than in January. The Cowboys will probably get a bye and they’ll be facing a team that just came off of a playoff win and is ready to punch them in the mouth. It’s easier to take a punch and recover if you’ve been in that situation already. Plus, the defense gave up 10 points to a good team, they’ll be fine.


By Bryan:

I typically do a winners and losers segment, but since David stole my bit like the Grinch I’ll change it up this week.

It was the smack of reality that they needed, whether they or I wanted it. These Cowboys are not invincible. My hope is that they have learned to tune out the Super Bowl talk of their GM/Head Cheerleader, and are continuing the art of putting that head down and following Robot Garrett.

It was the repeated extinguishing of the flame of hope that made that game tough to watch. In weeks prior you saw slow starts or lulls overcome by the offense taking over. I fear there is a book on the Cowboys offense written by the Vikings, and executed by the Giants. The good news is, that even with a map, most teams can’t find a solution. The bad news is, the teams that can, will be the ones left standing in January and February.


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